What I Got

My friend was murdered on January 19, 2016.

Jared was choked to death by his stepfather in their kitchen. His stepddad admits doing it but said it was self defense and that Jared was the aggressor.

Now I’m not a detective  (though I like to play one when I watch TV ) but the fact that Jared had broken a couple of ribs earlier that week and was in extreme pain makes the self defense argument a little shaky in my world.

The police report says he was accidentally choked to death. Again, not a detective but how exactly do you accidentally choke someone to death? Oh, I tripped and fell and grabbed on to your neck and squeezed until you died. Um, no.

But the case is closed and no arrests will be made.

Jared’s mom is standing by her husband. Her abusive, murdering husband.

She didn’t have a memorial for Jared. I honestly think it’s because she wouldn’t be able to look us in the eye.

But as much as I want to be, I can’t be angry with her. She had 2 sons and they both died before the age of 40. And all she is left with is an abusive man who murdered her youngest son. I can’t imagine the pain she must be experiencing.

And Jared deeply loved his mom and I don’t think he would want anyone to have hard feelings towards her. But that piece of trash stepdad is another story.

What breaks my heart the most is how tragic his death is.

Jared messed up a lot in his life. He took & sold drugs. He drove under the influence. He did things that I’m sure that I don’t know about. He did really bad things.

He went to prison.

And he got clean. And he turned his life around. He got a job that gave him every opportunity to relapse but he stayed strong. He started writing for an online publication. He was motivated and determined and inspired. Then he was dead.

When he and I got back in touch after 20+ some odd years, it was through Facebook. He had posted some lyrics from a song I love. So I replied with some more of those lyrics. And that led to some awesome conversations.

And I think about how those lyrics sum up my friend. The details aren’t necessarily the same but the overall message is totally him.

Here are those lyrics from Sublime:

Early in the morning, risin’ to the street
Light me up that cigarette and I’ll strap shoes on my feet
Got to find a reason, a reason things went wrong
Got to find a reason why my money’s all gone
I got a Dalmatian, and I can still get high
I can play the guitar like a mother fuckin’ riot

Life is too short, so love the one you got
‘Cause you might get run over or you might get shot
Never start no static, I just get it off my chest
Never had to battle with no bulletproof vest
Take a small example, take a t-t-t-t-tip from me
Take all of your money, give it all to charity

Love is what I got, it’s within my reach
Yeah, and the Sublime style’s still straight from Long Beach
It all comes back to you, you’ll finally get what you deserve
Try and test that, you’re bound to get served
Love’s what I got, don’t start a riot
You’ll feel it when the dance gets hot

Lovin’ is what I got, I said remember that
Lovin’ is what I got, I remember that
Lovin’ is what I got, I said remember that
Lovin’ is what I got

I don’t cry when my dog runs away
I don’t get angry at the bills I have to pay
I don’t get angry when my mom smokes pot
Hits the bottle and goes right to the rock
Fuckin’ and fightin’, it’s all the same
Livin’ with Louie Dog’s the only way to stay sane
Let the lovin’, let the lovin’ come back to me

‘Cause lovin’ is what I got, I said remember that
Lovin’ is what I got, I remember that
Lovin’ is what I got, I said remember that
Lovin’ is what I got, I got, I got, I got



One thought on “What I Got

  1. Well spoken Missy! It makes me angry that the stepfather faces no charges. I feel like the reason is due to Jared ‘ s past transgressions, and not for the person he was in recent years. Such a loss of brilliance. Xoxo Jared!


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